Masturbate for Peace
Top 10 Reasons to Masturbate for Peace

10. It's too hot to go outside and demonstrate
9. If I go blind they can't draft me
8. The walls need painting white anyway
7. This is my weapon...this is my gun...this one's for shootin....oh, never mind.
6. If you want it done right you have to do it yourself
5. All the lube will give me a baby-soft dork
4. It may be the only "peace" I'll be getting for a while
3. If I use my left hand, it feels like someone else has joined my cause
2. What else am I going to do with the 80 GB of porn on my PC?
1. Because I can't give myself a peace blowjob